What a Holiday weekend. Like most I was looking forward to three days rest. It was not to be. Early Saturday morning I arose around 4 a.m. and my heart suddenly started beating out of control; again! I went back to bed, prayed and finally fell into a fitful sleep.
My wife goes to yard sales on the weekends so I did a few small chores around the house, all the while praying that I would start feeling better. It was not to be. Around noon my wife checked me into the Emergency Room of our hospital and I spent the three day holiday weekend in ICU.
My meds have been increased and I am dealing with the side effects of some of them; dizziness, being tired and so forth. I have prayed for and am still praying for healing; total healing. The same God who created the heavens and the earth created the human heart, our soul, body and spirit and all things are possible with Him.
While they doctors were trying to get my heart rate down from 170 beats per minute for over a day, to the normal level of 70 or so, they decided to increase an I.V. med to bring down the heart rate. The next step would have been to trying to shock my heart into regular rythem. Right after they increased the I.V. I started to sweat so bad the bed and my clothes were soaked as if I were standing under a water hose. I almost blacked out and could not see anything! Three things were going through my head at the same time; so this is how it feels right before you die? Why don't I just lose consienceness so I do not see what is happening? And, I had a deep inner sence that God was right there; a sence not of a Presence of any sort but I knew He was in total control of the events as they seemed to be spining out of control in the natural sense, and they truly were. The staff was callling the doctors 911 and such and they were tugging and pulling cords trying to bring my blood pressure back up; it had fallen to 40/20.
Within ten minutes things were back to normal. A close call by any definition. This happened for a reason. Here are one of the things that I feel are going on ~
1. This is a test of my faith; it has been sorely tried since my heart attack of May 9. Do I still believe the promises of God?
2. I agree with Brother Dave Wilkerson that some of the trials and tests we go through in this life are not because of our sin, our faith, the devil or anything of the sort; they are preparing us for what we will be in the world to come. We are earning our stripes, getting experience that will last us into the ages of eternity. I need to get out of an earthly frame of mind and "set my mind on things above, where God is".
I have cried, begged, tried to bargain with God and even this is causing growth in my spiritual man; the man that is eternal. I read a passage of Scripture this evening that explains what I am trying to say ~
" They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.
He that goeth forth and weepeth,
bearing precious seed,
Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,
bringing his sheaves with him. " Psalm 126:5
Our tears have a purpose. We are bearing seed as we bear our burdens. The precious seed we are carrying is our faith. After the great trials, tests, burdens and harvest, a great day of rejoicing awaits us. Some of the rejoicing will be in the here and now; most I believe will be when we get to our real home in the heaven of heavens; where God is.
I have prayed most of my life to be a man of faith. It is easy for me to have faith when things are going on a normal scale. When things start falling apart to the point that they look hopeless and death is at the door; this is the place where faith is birthed. I pass some tests, I do not do so well on others. But I am learning.
I am confident of one thing and I felt His presence as my blood pressure was dropping this past weekend in I.C.U. ~As fear started to momentarily set in, then a change started to occur and this is the passage " As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the LORD is round about His people from henseforth, even forever." Psalm 125:2